10 posts tagged “music”
Worked at the office until 6.
Had dinner with my father afterwards.
Came home, had invited a lot of people over, a handful came by.
My roommates got me my lone gift, but it was quite magnificent (deserving of its own post at some point).
It's one more gift that I'm used to getting.
Drank good beer. Had good laughs.
Took one of the girls to get a post-midnight cheeseburger.
Been sitting here alone for the past half-hour, continuing to drink my good beer and listening to Say Anything.
Because really, this is possibly one of my better birthdays.
They're usually terrible.
Also, this marks four years to the day I've been single.
Music and lyrics because even though I fancy myself a writer, Beamis does it better:
It is my birthday. It is a new year. I should be happy that I am still here.
Light up a new joint. Put on an old shirt. Try to remember but forget how my brain works.
But I could read a book a night before this year.
I knew every word, their definitions clear
But now in stealth I check thesaurus -- it's become my guilty mistress.
So I heave my breath at burning wax because I know that spark ain't coming back.
It is my birthday. I've got all my friends here.
They haven't been talking as of lately. They've all found new bro's and babies.
I have smoked away my pride.
There is nothing but the cinders of it inside.
But I believed in more than nothingness last year and under every quiet failure it's still here.
Buried breathing under 18 years of tragedy and fear.
If I could crawl my way out of this grave just think of all the time I'd save.
The stereo's playing the same old songs and we still hum along
And in no time we'll be spread across the earth,
Donning business suits to show the faceless master what we're worth.
From our Huggies to Armani and it all seems so rehearsed.
This has been weighing on my for the past week, as I knew about this before I could really reveal anything to my employees, and as such I'm been worried sick about it. Not that there's much I can do to change the budget that's already been spent.
I've applied to several jobs in D.C. I've updated my resume and relocation options on several jobsearch sites. However, as it stands, I can't move somewhere without a job lined up (my savings just won't survive that). At present, I'm drawing up a business plan for a soooper secret backup plan, should I be stuck here, jobless. I figure if I'm going to be unemployed and single, I might as well go for broke, literally, and take out a small business loan. You know, just to make sure that I'm going to remain completely undesirable and financially ruined.
As a last hurrah, last night some friends and I went to a strip club. Not a bad night, as even the worst looking dancers weren't ugly and several of them were very friendly. A few beers, a few lapdances, $30 in singles and 6 hours later, we drove home this morning at 4am grinning ear to ear and laughing like a bunch of gradeschoolers.
I posted the songs above, as I've been listening to both bands' albums on near-constant repeat, with Something Corporate thrown in every now and again for good measure.
So, I was killing time this evening, strumming on my guitar and watching acoustic performances on Youtube.
That's where I found her.
Oh, man. Cute as can be, goofy, and plays the ukulele. Those eyes and that little smile... oh, wow.
Yeah. I think I've got a new internet crush.
I went ahead and bought her album.
Stupid, cute ukulele girl.
I've been listening to my collection of Tom Waits albums recently. That man's grave, rough, worn voice is as similar to the sound of my own thoughts inside my head as I have found. There's such a breadth and depth to his catalog of music that I can always find something to fit my mood(s).
"Well, the night does funny things
inside a man,
these old Tom-cat feelings you don't understand."
- Hope I Don't Fall In Love with You (1973)
"Nobody, nobody,
will ever love you the way I could love you.
'Cause nobody, nobody is that strong."
- Nobody (1975)
"Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk."
- Heartattack and Vine (1980)
Death Cab for Cutie's new album releases today. I've been listening to a copy I "found laying around somewhere on the internet" all evening/morning. It's dark and haunting and arguably the best thing they've ever produced. In keeping with lyrics and songs that are matching up to present situations and my own internal emotional turmoil that I have yet to discuss with anyone, one of the tracks does an excellent job of summing up my own feelings towards a particular someone.
I’m starting to feel
We stay together out of fear of dying alone.
I’ve been slipping through the years.
My old clothes don’t fit like they once did,
So they hang like ghosts of the people I’ve been
And it’s like my heart cant contain.
I fall in love every day.
And I feel like a fool,
But I have to face the truth that
No one could ever look at me like you do.
Like I’m something worth holding on to.
There’s times I think of leaving,
But it’s something I’ll never do.
Cause you can do better than me,
But I can’t do better than you.
You can do better than me,
But I can’t do better than you.
- Death Cab for Cutie, You Can Do Better Than Me (but I Can't Do Better Than You)
Also of note are Cath... and I Will Possess Your Heart. I highly recommend "finding" a copy or otherwise finding a copy to purchase.
Words. Words could be written here trying to explain myself, but all would fall short of the glory and brilliance of my insanity. The gloriousness of my descent into madness is not for the tongues and speech of men, but rather is to be committed to memory and whispered in hushed tones in days yet to come.
In lieu of my own words, a selection of tones written by other men, more handsome men, than myself:
if you wanted to be free.
There's one thing you need to know,
and that's that you can't count on me."
that's when I knew that I could never have you,
I knew that before you did.
Still I'm the one who's stupid,
and theres this burning, like theres always been.
I've never been so alone, and Ive never been so alive."
I know...I can't keep it all together,
And there's a memory of a window.
Looking through I see you,
searching for something I could never give you.
And there's someone who understands you
more than I do."
Pure brilliance and love.
It's a very story-oriented soundtrack to have. All of the music flows from one song into the next, telling a cohesive tale of unnamed (or understood) protaganists. Reflects a lot of what's going on in my own head at the moment.
Regardless, this live recording of Mraz is by and large the best I've heard (I'm planning on sending it to you when I have the chance, K-Mart).
